AGREE to DISAGREE - conversations on conversion -- [Viewpoints] by Project Team of conversion.buddhists.sg

What does it mean to agree to disagree?

We are open to listening to others' views because we are clear of our own beliefs.

We respect others' opinions while standing firm with our own values and principles.

We can engage others in dialogue and exchange perspectives without insisting that others accept our point of view.

If others try to influence us to adopt their religion, it is perfectly fine to stand our ground and turn them down.

Why should we agree to disagree?

Being assertive in our inter-personal relationships and interactions is taking the moderate path between being passive and aggressive. When we are assertive with our views, we should communicate them in a clear, positive and firm way to others.

We should not be so passive with upholding our views that we quietly and apathetically allow others to impose their beliefs on us.

We should also not be so aggressive with standing up for our views that we impose them on others or react angrily to those who have a different perspective.

How should we agree to disagree? - Saying "No" Respectfully

At Home

Scene: Your family members or relatives try to persuade you to take up their religion.

The proselytiser says: As a family, it is important that we share the same religion and beliefs. Do come and join in my religious activities.

Take 1

You say: I understand that you care about me. Don't worry. In my religion I am taught to do good. I am not harming myself or others.

Take 2

You say: I have a different view. As a family, I think each of us can have different religion and belief. Being respectful of each other's religion is important too.

Take 3

You say: Although we don't share the same religion and belief, why don't we join each other's religious activities to increase mutual understanding and support?

At School

Scene: Your peers aggressively ask you to attend prayer group/their place of worship.

The proselytiser says: If you are my friend, you will attend my prayer group/place of worship.

You say: Thank you for your kind invitation. I'm a Buddhist and I've no interest in joining your prayer group. Please respect my religious beliefs in the same way that I respect yours.

In Public: On the Streets

Scene: A stranger approaches you to share about his religion.

The proselytiser says: Good afternoon. Have you heard of X religion?

You say: I have heard of it. I am a Buddhist, thank you.

Smile and politely walk away.

In Public: Service Providers

Scene: You are with a Buddhist relative who has been hospitalised and is not in any capacity to make decision. A stranger from another religion approaches his bed.

The proselytiser says: Do you want to convert to my religion? You will be saved.

You say: No, my relative is a Buddhist.

You may then report to the hospital staff.

An excerpt from Agree to Disagree, Conversations on Conversion. To download the e-book, visit www.conversion.buddhists.sg