Into The Golden Age -- Agening Gracefully -- By Jeffrey Po

(......continued from issue 182)

Development Of Good Mental Health :

There will be some sort of mental change. However this does not imply that the level of intelligence diminishes. If intelligence does at all decline, it is usually caused by disease and not by ageing. Even at a slower pace, the elderly can still study. In fact, science has shown that although abstract reasoning (e.g. soving puzzles) may decline but problem-solving abilities based on judgment and experience actually improve. It is therefore profitable to learn new skills, games or even languages.

Many elderly complain of "depressive moods" and "loneliness". Here, it is best to clarify that "depression" is not a natural part of growing old but rather a medical condition that should be treated by the medical profession and counselors early. Dr Victor Molinari, a Baylor College of Medicine pschologist and a director or geropsychology at the Houston Veterans Affairs Medical Center (VAMC) says,

"Depression in the elderly, or in anyone, should not be thouht of as normal. Some groups are at higher risk, but the average older person is not depressed any more than a young person"

Loneliness is an extremely depressing and uncomfortable situation. Vastly different from "wanting to be alone", loneliness gnaws into the person's self-esteem and self-confidence. He feels terribly worthless and wasted. Loneliness is however a mental (attitude) condition and therefore with strenuous effort can be changed. The key is to keep the mind active with positive and healthy mental habits. Indulge in a hobby; making use of opportunities to learn and change; gather new experiences; keeping in touch with current events; cultivating and nurturing new friendsl, maintaining family, siblings contact and communications are useful ways to stimulate the mind and to avoid being lonely. It is sadly true that in the busy modern world of intense activities and rush, the elderly bemoans, "Nobody seems to have time for me or to listen and understand me". Under such trying circumstances, it becomes importantly incumbent that the elderly needs to be more independent to seek his own mental well-being.

Here are some ways to develop a healthy mind:

1. Accept yourself ?discover your new self (especially after retirement from work; children married and staying on their own; demise of spouse or parents, etc); set realistic expectations; find out your weaknesses and strengths (they will differ from that when you were young); look back at past achievements however small they might have been.

2. Respect yourself -- love yourself as, after all, "metta" starts with oneself. Remember every living thing plays a role within the scheme of existence.

3. Financial readjustment ?loss of income means taking necessary measures to lower your "social" level of expenses. Invest wisely and "stretch the dollors". Free yourself from unnecessary financial woes.

4. Share your feelings -- don't "bottle up". Share your feeling of insecurity and fear. They are natural feelings. Talk to people - there will be someone who will listen and if necessary provide a shoulder for you to lean upon.

5. Cultivate new friends -- they can be sources of your mental and spiritual support. Be careful in selection however. The Sigalovada Sutta mentions:

"A friend who always lends a hand,A friend in both sorrow and joy, A friend who offers good counsel, And a friend who sympathizes too."

"These are the four kinds of true friends, And one who is wise, having understood this, Will always cherish and serve such friends, Just as a mother tends her only child"

6. Plan your time -- being elderly you own all the time in the world. Fill it up with useful activities that promote and stregthened both your mental and physical health. Get involved in activities that make you feel wanted and useful .

7. Listen more -- talk less especially to children and grandchildren. Time to listen, reflect and smile. Tolerate different views. Sit back and allow others to take over. You have completed your "national service".

8. Positive attitude -- hold positive attitude and deal constructively with any negative feelings.

9. Continue interaction -- continue social and family interactions. Being old or a "senior citizen" does not place you automatically onto a pedestal of glory and honor.

10. Be contended -- be contended with yourself and your environment. Satisfacion with yourself brings about mental peace. Be grateful for what you have been given ?in fact, we are all just "passers-by" and whatever possessions we deem to own are actually loaned by and borrowed from Mother Nature. The Dhammapada 171 says:

"And how is one contented?

Concerning this, one is satisfied with a robe to protect the body and with food to satisfy the stomach. Having accepted enough, he goes on his way as a bird with wings flies here and there, taking nothing but its wings".

Development Of Good Physical Health

Keeping our body fit is proven way to prevent the physical effects of ageing. Without doubt, physical disabilities and organ becoming less efficient comes along with the ageing process. They, however, ought not handicap the elderly if the psychological reactions to those changes are managed. Through proper understanding of the body's needs older people can still partake in life's daily activities during those golden years. Let's look at some of them.

1. Eat Wisely -- this includes eating a variety of food and drinking sufficient fluids daily and eating the right amout (plan your food intake). Occasional fasting gives the digestion system a holiday. In fact, the Lord Buddha Gotama's habit is exemplary -- just one meal per day and in moderation. Moderation in food intake is one way to inhibit sloth and torpor (one of the 5 Hindrances). The type of food taken affects our mental behaviors also because, aharaja, defined as the nutritive essence present in physical food and one of the four factors that supports the arising of Material Phenomena-Rupa (matter), indirectly influences our Cittas (consciousness). Hence eating wisely is important.

2. Sufficient Exercise -- Although the Lord Buddha Gotama walked the length and breadth of the Ganges plain during His ministry, still Jivaka, His personal physician, felt necessary to instruct Him to exercise daily. Therefore, make physical exercise part of your routine. Plan 3 to 5 days a week for a 20 to 60 minutes exercise per session. You should exercise until perspiration breaks out and breathe deeply (but not breathless). Choose something that you enjoy.

3. Control Stress -- In this direction, maintain good relationship with family members, friends, and associates and keep your mind and body active.

4. Stay Healthy -- No drugs and supplement can slow the ageing process. Regular medical checkup and screening can however help to increase your chances to be healthy. Read and be better informed about medical situations. The Anguttara Nikaya, III, 143, says:

"Possessed of 5 qualities, a sick man is of much help to himself. What five? He knows what medicine is good for him, he know the right measure in his treatment, he takes the medicine, he describes his illness to the one who nurses him out of kindness, saying: 'In going, it goes, like this; in coming, it comes like this; while there, it is like this', and he is one who endures the various pains of the sickness".

Traveling those golden years is something well earned. The journey ought to be showered with bliss and happiness. This can happen when we graciously take the back seat and allow others to drive. Start to enjoy life and living instead even if the body is "worn out and decrepit". Strengthened the mind with religious and spiritual reinforcements. Adopt healthy lifestyles and be prepared for the greatest adventure that eventually confronts us passing into transition.

(The End)